To the girls who plan conversations
days, weeks, months, years in advance.
Conversations that need to happen, want to happen,
may never happen. You lie awake at night talking
in your head to the fictional, future, imaginary,
hoped beyond hoped for lover:
“I need you to be honest with me. Not just about you
but about me, even the small things. Tell me you don’t
like the color of my shirt. That I should probably brush
my hair. That the way I said that one thing that one time
was out of line and you wished I would apologize.
Tell me or I will never know, and things may spiral out
of control.”
To the girls like me and so many others in this
generation who are told that we need to be
spontaneous but well-rehearsed
quirky but in that totally natural way
that only Instagram models and food bloggers seem to pull off
All the girls who act like they woke up like this
to avoid getting berated for actually trying
or taking pride in their appearance.
We need to have flawless makeup
but look great without it.
Be gorgeous
but have no idea just how gorgeous.
Athletic build but not a health freak.
Skinny girl with a cheeseburger.
But if I order a salad it can’t be because
I genuinely enjoy them. I must have insecurities that are
just too much baggage for you right now.
To all the over analyzers, over thinkers,
overly regular girls.
To the girls who plan everything in a way
that will appear unplanned, so no one will know
that you just might care too much.
In a world that may not care at all.
Breath in. Breath out, and focus on
the uncontrollable truth of who you are.
You are hangnails and dark circles.
You are smudged eyeshadow and coffee
spilled on a fresh shirt in the morning.
You are not perfect. No one is. You are
perfectly you, standing at the edge of a world
that is unprepared to handle how strangely,
uniquely, and beautifully unperfect you are.
Embrace those who step up to the challenge of
unraveling the mystery of you. And do the same for them.
Sophia Baker
